Well, the holiday season will officially kick off tomorrow with Thanksgiving, and we will barely have time to swallow, never mind digest, before the chaos of Black Friday is upon us. If you are part of ANY family (insert laughter and confusion here) then likely your feelings about the upcoming holiday togetherness run somewhere between elation at seeing long lost family members to super cringy at seeing certain other family members who shall remain nameless.
I host Thanksgiving. Facepalm. For the better part of 15yrs. Coordination of Thanksgiving is like a well written symphony, from the timing to the location, to the food right down to whom sits in which room and eats together. In this particular family one rule remains the same….IT MUST NEVER CHANGE. Allow me to provide a brief snapshot of the situation. Steeped in generations of Kentucky roots, these woman bask in the glory of doing things the way they have always been done, with my Momma at the helm. The “right” way is the way they have been done since at least the 1940s, and this is NOT one of my famous flowered exaggerations. We actually had a cousin bring the wrong type of dinner roll a DECADE ago and it STILL gets talked about every single year.
Imagine these traditions and toss in a hearty dose of a divorce, and an admitted quick remarriage with blended family and BAM….tensions are high. Yours truly has thrown a fast-moving, very heavy wrench here people. It is hard enough trying to coordinate with the folks you have known your entire life, but toss in two exes, two other sets of grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, cousins, neighbors (lol) whomever that want to see the kids on the holiday and it is IMPOSSIBLE. Seriously, read this clearly….IMPOSSIBLE to please the tribe. Lord knows we give it a go each holiday season.
We are embarking upon holiday season 3 and while things are better than the first year, or maybe my healthy sense of detachment-as suggested by my therapist is kicking in??? I certainly hope that is the case. My sense of anxiety about the next 36hours of my life, has me looking at quick (but pricey) plane tickets along the coast. No joke.
Down to the heart of the matter, this reaches far beyond paper. I know many of you have custody agreements that do not allow for bending or movement, ours are not structured that way. Blended family honorees how do you handle the movement and pressure of all who would like to experience the holiday with the children?
Make a new plan and stick with it no matter what? It should be said that we are fans of fluidity. Seriously, comment, we and loads of other readers would like to know. With a stack of upcoming holidays there must be as many new ways to try things as there are families in the world. I have received SO many messages from families who are excited about the prospect of opening this line of conversation as it is typically avoided as taboo. Share, share, share! If you would prefer to share anonymously, send me a message, I vow to fully respect your privacy!